What My Son Taught Me About Differentiation

As a teacher, the importance of differentiation was drilled into me. We had PLC meetings, team meetings, staff developments, and key note speakers all telling us how important it is. I would implement what was taught into my lessons, but I don’t think I ever whole-heartedly opened myself up to the idea of the reason behind it. It was just another thing on my to-do list of lesson planning.

After 6 years of teaching, I became a mom. And I decided to take some time off to learn more about my new “job” full-time. It’s been the best decision I’ve ever made, and it’s been the best lesson I’ve ever had. I’ve learned so much about teaching from being a mom, and in a way that no professional development could have ever taught me. The biggest lesson of all was about the reason behind differentiation.

For those who don’t know. Differentiated Instruction is the way in which a teacher anticipates and responds to a variety of students’ needs in the classroom. To meet students’ needs, teachers differentiate by modifying the content (what is being taught), the process (how it is taught) and the product (how students demonstrate their learning).

My son is 18 months old. At this age, kids are supposed to say between 10-25 words according to most pediatricians, pamphlets and books. My son only says 1 word clearly, and 2 other words rarely. At our last appointment, our doctor recommended speech therapy to help get him “where he is supposed to be.” As a mother, this is very hard to hear. Hearing that your child is behind makes you feel like a failure. As a teacher, it made me question whether I was doing my “job” right. Was I reading to him enough? Was I supposed to be doing flash cards with him? I have only ever taught middle and high school math. I loved math because it was always black and white to me. The answers were either right or wrong. So “teaching” a baby was brand new to me and I felt completely lost. (It has also given me a new respect for all my friends who teach little ones.)

After speaking with many of my friends who have kids, and teacher friends who teach preschool and elementary, I’ve learned that this is like most “milestones” where everyone reaches it at their own speed. It was hard for me to see other kids his age and even younger kids speaking more words, and repeating everything their parents said. But then I also started noticing that he has better motor skills then some kids older then him. I realized that every kid has their strengths and weakness, and trying to compare them to one another will only drive you crazy and is completely unfair to the kids.

Which brings me back to differentiation. If my son were in school, and understanding words was the lesson of the day, I would hope the teacher would find a different way to connect and let him demonstrate his skill. No he can’t say the word book if you ask him to. But if you ask him to go get you a book, he’ll bring it to you and sit in your lap for you to read to him. No he can’t say ball. But if you ask him to kick the ball, he’ll not only kick the ball, but he’ll make it in the goal and raise his arms in celebration. He’s not a parrot who will repeat a word that you say, but his comprehension of words and understanding of the context of the words you say is incredible.

Of course I’m going to provide my son with any and all resources to help encourage him and help him to express himself more verbally. But I’m not going to stress out or get upset if he’s not “where he is supposed to be.” Because he is. He’s exactly where he is supposed to be. In some ways he is ahead of kids his age, and in other ways he isn’t. But he’ll get there when he is ready.

Differentiation is more then just teaching students in a different way. It’s more then just showing them multiple ways to solve a problem. It’s about letting them show YOU different ways of understanding a problem. It’s about the student demonstrating they understand a concept, but maybe not in the way you intended. It’s why multiple choice tests aren’t always a fair assessment of what someone knows. The most important thing is sometimes a kids confidence. And if you can help build that confidence by letting them show you what they do know, then maybe that confidence will lead them to learning what they are “supposed to know.” When I do return to a classroom setting, I know I’ll bring with me a better understanding, and a more open heart to teaching every child individually.